Holding Charlie!

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Psalm 139:7-12

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

 My baby is back in my arms!  If you are a mother you can imagine the joy.  I have prayed fervently that Charlie would feel God’s loving arms holding him, while I couldn’t.  Just hours after a good friend prayed at church for me to get to hold Charlie, it happened! Oh it felt SO good to have him close, feel his breathe, hold his tiny body, snuggle him, sing, pray, and talk with him.  We rocked for 4 hours!

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When I placed Charlie in the arms of the nurse that first day at the hospital I didn’t know it would it be 19 days before I would get to hold my baby boy again.  I didn’t know that the doctors would repeatedly warn us to “prepare for the worst.”  I didn’t know Charlie’s heart would stop beating, and miraculously begin again.  I didn’t know I had buckets of tears to shed and hours of prayers to pray.  I didn’t know the faith that God was about to cultivate in my family and I.  I didn’t know that I was about to receive a PHD in allopathic medicine, anatomy, and hospital life.  I didn’t know the love I was about to feel from our church, our family, and friends.  I didn’t know a lot of things.  The one thing I did know, and I am convinced that the only thing I desperately needed to know that day was that GOD KNEW everything that was ahead of us and He promises He will never leave us, or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).  These deep waters would have enveloped me if I didn’t know and believe this.

It was a gift from the Lord that when they put Charlie in my arms, my good friend and faithful Fine baby lover and holder had just dropped by!  Over the years she has blessed me by treasuring my babies and snuggling with them.  I think she has spent hours with my babies in her arms.  She cried, rejoiced, and celebrated this big moment with me.  After all, Aureli Knew the cry of my heart, and even felt it herself.

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Thank you for your prayers!!!  Baby steps…

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