The Outpouring of Love

Thank you!  To all who are praying for us, visiting us, cooking for us, encouraging my family, sending scripture, writing notes, and whoever sent my dear husband a Dazbog card- he said whoever you are, will surely get a great reward in heaven!  We are overwhelmed by the love of the amazing friends and family in our lives- we are undeserving.

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Charlie loves his sibs and. Responds to them whenever he hears them.imageimageimageimageWe love you Drake’simageimageimage

18 Days Old- New Plan

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Psalm 139: 13-14 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.  I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Oh Charlie, you are so precious.  You are such a beautiful boy.  I love who you are.  You are my baby.  You are so dear to me.  You look like us- a Fine.  You smell like what I imagine heaven to smell like.  God’s Word tells me you are wonderful and marvelous, a gift, a reward, and a blessing..Amen!  As much as I long for your pain and suffering to end, as much as I long to pick you up and hold you, as much as I long to take you home to your family, as much as I long for this trial to end, I long even more for you to know the presence of God in your life- today and always little Charles.  My mother’s arms ache for you, but my love for you doesn’t hold a candle to the love that God has for you.  Lord, would you hold this little baby boy whom you have created so fearfully and wonderfully, make hIm to feel your presence, your love, your peace.  May your presence be more comforting and more soothing and more healing than anything I could offer!  Lord you are Charlie’s Maker, Great Physician, and Loving Father.

Today was very teary for me.  I woke up teary and the tears flowed all morning.  There was so much news about Charlie this morning, little ups and downs- just so much to process and understand.  My sweet nurse put her arm around me and reminded me how far we have come, how much great progress we have made.  Oh how right she was.  I am thankful that God has preserved Charlie and is bringing about healing.

Charlie’s overall trend is very good.  The new plan as of today is to do his stomach study  and the surgery to repair the highly suspected blockage in his small intestine would be A week or so from this Friday if the study confirms it’s presence.  This plan is very encouraging to me as it will allow for many good things to start happening much sooner than I originally expected.

Prayer Requests

Today was our second move within the NICU.  It’s an upgrade because little Charlie is less critical and does not require the ammenities of our former room.  We even have one-half of a nurse rather than 2 full-time.

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We are thankful for your prayers, as we have seen God answer them.  We have seen battle after battle being won.  First, Charlie’s infection is now hardly a topic during the doctor’s rounds.  Second, we have gone from 17 ‘med pumps’ to 5.  Again, God is answering our prayers specifically!

image today’s pump rigging vs:

image Day One (The Med Pumps are the blue screen machines) They often make a charming sound like the electrolady at DIA that tells you that you are standing in the way of the doors to the train, or that you have dozed off and are a lazy parent.

image What’s this strange picture?  We call it Beautiful Progress!  And it’s not what you might think.

So we would like to ask for a few more specific requests:

1. It is suspected Charlie has a blockage in his upper small intestine (Duodenal Atresia).  We are praying this would heal or be non-existent before his stomach study scheduled for Sept. 28-29.  This is a good theory based on the facts, yet a study is needed to determine.  We believe God can heal this.  This would eliminate a surgery and allow us to take him home soon.  Otherwise, we will be here for more than 2 months, when they plan to reconnect his large & small intestine, and repair the Duodinal Atresia.  We are certainly okay with this if needed.

2.  Doctors hope to have Charlie strong before operating on his heart.  They would like to wait until he is 4-6 months old.  We are praying he will respond to the treatments and medications to help him ‘hold out’ until then, and that God would strengthen him.

3. Pray for our nurses and doctors.  We have been very blessed with these dear souls.  Pray that God would overwhelm them and draw them into relationship with Him.

4. Lastly, please pray for our home-life and marriage.  This time requires some distance that we are certainly not use to.  We have a vision for how these next weeks, months, and year may look.  We need God’s grace, wisdom, and love as we relate with one another.  I miss my wife and little Charlie every moment I’m not with them, yet I know I am needed in the house regularly and undistracted.

Thank you for praying for Charlie and his family.  2 Corinthians 12:9…My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

17 Days Old – Day by Day

imageA friend sent this hymn to me and it is encouraging to me to receive this tribulation from my Father’s loving hand.  “The protection of His child and treasure is a charge that on Himself He laid.”  I have times where I feel I will be overcome with the mountain that lay before me and I hear my Father calling me to quit staring at the mountain and enjoy the flowers he has placed on the trail up the mountain.  Oh Lord give me eyes to see the flowers, the joys, and the mighty purposes you have in this climb.

I have my sweet Savannah here with me.  We went to bed listening to this hymn and enjoying one another’s company.  Savannah walked into Charlie’s room last night and after seeing him she cried streams of tears saying that she had just missed him so much!  We all want him at home where we can cuddle, snuggle, sing, enjoy, cherish, swaddle, and for Savannah- put him in the moby wrap and carry him around. Charlie and Savannah- moby wrap This has been our routine every couple of years since she was 18 months old.  So, God is stretching us all, asking us to surrender our little wills to His grand purposes.  It is hard, it is painful at times, but in the end we trust it is for our good and His glory!

Psalm 126: 5-6
5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

Charlie is doing well.  He had a more difficult night with some increased pain, and need for more platelets.  Nothing unusual,  just part of the healing process they think.  We will likely keep his meds the same today without weaning to let him settle out.  The slow process is trying as we ache to have him in our arms.  Continually praying that Charlie would feel the arms of God holding him now and forever.

Facetime

Today I finally got a long visit with my dad, Charlie’s Papa.  It was so good to talk to my dad!      In God’s kind providence, Papa and Nonie happened to be traveling though Colorado the day Charlie was born!!!  They stayed the night and got to know Charlie on his BIRTHday.  Today he longed to see him again but the miles don’t permit.  Then I thought, “FaceTime!”  We tried it and it worked!!! Papa got to see and pray over Charlie as he opened his eyes and listened.  Papa loves his grandson #31 to pieces!

After that call I tried Facetiming home…it worked!  I caught the family at the dinner table enjoying dinner from the Peterson’s ( thank you Peterson’s!).  Charlie was awake, looking around listening to daddy’s voice as well as siblings.  “Hi Harley!” said lil’ Enid.  He loved it.

imageCheck out the glee on Enid’s face.

Who’s next?…

He is off most meds and decreasing pain meds very well.  So, I get a lot more wake time with my boy.  We are talking, touching, singing, playing hymns, Bible, and Face-timing!  There is speculation that I will get to hold him soon, dreaming of the moment.  Today was a great day for Charlie, my little lion-hearted warrior!

So, How Did We Get Here?

imageFrom this to this…image

Charles Grant was born September 3, 2015.  His birth was a dream.  If it isn’t obvious to you by looking at our family, I love having babies!  I love infants, I love toddlers, I love young years, middle years, and teenage years- I love being a mom!  To many it is odd, but I enjoy being pregnant and I love childbirth!  I thank God for His Word, my husband, my mom, my sisters, my pastor, and my midwives whom have all discipled me in this way.  I will share more about Charlie’s entrance into the world later.  He had a very sweet birthday.  Charlie received a 9 on the apgar scale, which is about as high as it gets at our altitude.  He was beautiful, healthy, and peaceful.  He enjoyed lots of snuggling, nursing, pooping, and sleeping.  On day 5 and 6 some strange things began happening.  He started to get a little floppy.  He was spitting up brown stuff.  He just seemed sick.  We thought he was fighting the same virus Bob and I had.  Wednesday morning we decided to have him looked at.  We swaddled him up and drove him to Parker Children’s hospital.  The nurse took him from me and flew to a room calling everyone to help.  Very quickly they ran some tests showing he had a perforated bowel, possible heart issues, and possible trisomy 21.  As the whirlwind of people began working on him, he began to crash.  My mother’s heart was shattering, I could hardly breathe except for the calming force of the Spirit and God’s mighty hand that kept mine beating…as well as Charlie’s.  We were instructed to head to Children’s so we would be there when Charlie arrived by helicopter.  About 1 mile from the hospital Bob got a text instructing us to hurry back, his heart had stopped!  Bob and I cried out to the Lord as Bob did some Dukes of Hazard driving to get us back quickly.  Upon return Charlie was back and getting stable for flight. Praise Jesus!  When we arrived at Children’s, the surgical team was prepped and raring to go.  At each turn of this story you must know that the prognosis in earthly terms was grim.  We understood their warnings and why they were constantly telling us to prepare for the worst, but we kept our gaze on the Great Physician, the Great Healer, the King of Kings, and Lord of Lord’s.  We cried out for His healing power!    Guess what He has been pouring out upon Charlie since that day?  Miraculous healing power!!! Glory be to God!

More to come…

An Abundance of Love

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Grandpa Jim and Grandma Judy encouraged Charlie’s little heart so much when they visited.  Charlie would look at grandma and listen to the kind, calm, soothing words she was speaking to him.

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Mr. Rod and so many others have come to meet Charlie for the first time and pray over him.

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What amazing love oozes from Charlie’s big sisters who can’t wait for the day he is back in our arms again!

Charlie and I are overwhelmed by the amazing people in our life.  We praise God for our family:  aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, and cousins, our church family: amazing friends, pastor, deacons, and children, and the broader body of Christ: Sarah counted 18 states of people praying that we know of, family camp friends, Ft Collins friends, my siblings church friends, midwives, our community: other churches, cross country team, neighbors, online teachers…and so much more!  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers, your care, your love, your encouragement, and for so many of you- your sacrifice!

Our church has been a tremendous support bringing meals to my family, and supporting me and my family beyond my wildest imagination.  The church is such a beautiful taste of heaven on earth.  Glory be to God!  Several arrived at the first ER to sing, pray, hold, direct, and support us, within minutes of our arrival!  Bill Roach was singing Psalm 23 and other hymns behind me as my son appeared to be slipping away.   It was a peace and calm in the wildest storm I have ever experienced.  When we got to Children’s there was a huge support team here, some I never even saw as they prayed in the lobby.  Let me just just say that God’s armies were busy that night and the saints were locking arms as we battled in prayer for our precious boy.  We are not alone, and the love of you all smells of the beautiful scent of Jesus Christ!!  I smell it, Charlie smells it, and the whole hospital is smelling it.

Thank you!!

imageGranny Sha and Aunt Elaine loving on Charlie

15 Days Old – Happy 2 week Birthday!

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I am sorry the updates aren’t as frequent as I would like.  Every day is different and takes all I have (actually more that I have) but in my weakness,  my mighty God is strong.  Oh how I feel that like never before.  At moments my flesh feels like like it will crumble and EVERY time He is very present help!!!  Yesterday I was given this verse and I clung to the powerful truths richly imbedded in it.  God of peace! Even when tests or news or numbers are overwhelming…not to my God of peace!  My GOOD shepherd!  He will work all this for my/our good and His glory!  Making me complete to do His will- all that pleases Him.  That is my hearts cry…to walk in a manner pleasing to my Savior, King, and Father.  This life is not about about me, but rather my great God!

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This was the other gift sent to me yesterday from a dear sister in the Lord.  She had written it as a cry to the Lord during difficult days gone by in her life. The words ministered to me in a deep way and the plea really resonated with me.  Yesterday, Charlie’s numbers were struggling and it was determined that the liquid we had been watching in his chest was a potential problem.  They decided to insert a tube in his chest and drain what looked liked the original gunk from the bowel perf..  It was a very good move, and should hopefully help him heal much quicker now.  Heb 13 and this plea were visuals to me as we walked yesterday- to loosen my grip on this world and rest in my good shepherd.

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Enid loved visiting “Harley”…”Hold Harley?”  When I was pregnant.  Enid would wake up in her crib and start singing or talking and it would immediately awaken Charlie in the womb and he would start dancing in response to Enid.  It was their little morning routine.  Every day she would touch my belly and say “Baby coming, baby coming.”  He loves his big sister!!!

13 Days Old – Slow and Steady

“His color looks so good!” Or “he looks so much better!” Were common comments as people would come and go checking on Charlie today.  We are astounded by his progress and endurance.  He is a strong little boy and God is at work in his little body and all over this hospital.  He continues to drop his medicine levels and his heart and lungs are taking over as they should.  Today Charlie was awake much more and opened his eyes a few times.  He gets sad when they change his dressing, I don’t blame him.

The flight nurse that helped save his life and get him flown here visited again today.  She is a precious woman with tremendous gifts that God used on that first day when Charlie needed help.  We reminisced that first day and she shed light on even more details that were miraculously woven together by the hand of God to pave the path for Charlie’s life to be preserved.  It was a joy.  She often wisely counsels me to go outside in the sun and take my shoes off in the grass everyday, so as not to be swallowed by the hospital.  Thank you Bonnie for taking me out to apply wisdom.

Thank you to ALL who are praying for and encouraging us.  The outpouring of love is amazing and beautiful.  Many of you, whether you are a finger, toe, or liver of the body- your love is felt.  Thank you for loving us through this.

.imageNaomi kissing little Charlie on day 4 of our peaceful first 6 days at home.  Filling his love tank for the storm that lay around the corner.