In the context of the love relationship with Jesus:
Song of Songs 3:1-4
All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
2 I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.
3 The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
“Have you seen the one my heart loves?”
4 Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go…
These verses have met the depths of my soul in relation to my Savior. There have been times that I have not been in close union and communion with Jesus. Sometimes, sadly, I am OK with that- my heart is hard or cold or complacent. Then…my spirit is awakened to my lack and I seek and search for my beloved Jesus like searching for a missing child at the zoo (yes I have experience- it’s a desperate search that would not be given up short of my own death!) I cry out and I search for Jesus until I find him! In this Charlie adventure, I continue to find the one my heart loves! Though I am tempted to give into despair and hopelessness, in regards to Charlie, my Jesus’ love is more and more and more irresistible. Such that I can’t run away with my desperation in trade for HIM! Oh how my flesh wants to give way, but he keeps drawing me upward and toward himself in such a tender and real way. If you don’t know Jesus…you really ought too! You ought to seek him out. I will pray that He would seek you out. If you thought you knew love and don’t know Jesus, you’ve only tasted a tiny crumb!
Charlie was being fed and doing very well with a small amount. He was digesting and processing properly. Then when the amount was increased yesterday things began to back up and go the wrong way. We have backed off and will take it slowly as we try to wean other things as well. Charlie gave us some very sweet smiles yesterday. He was so happy and adorable. I just want to pick him up like a regular baby and hold him so badly. Meanwhile I am so grateful for the “one my heart loves!” JESUS.